Be . . . "that guy." . . . or "that gal."

Poor picture . . . but here is the scaffolding in use. Thanks to “that guy” . . . it has worked quite well!

I’m a midwesterner. A . . . pioneer roots, farm-belt, rural . . . small town guy. We don’t interfere with other people’s business. We don’t offer our opinions unless asked. We rely on family, friends, neighbors, community in that order. Ronald Reagan’s comment about the “nine most terrifying words in the english language” sums up the common attitude about government. We expect neighborliness . . . but fiercely resist intuition into private matters. There is more “island” than “commonwealth” in our psyche. We understand a character like Ron Swanson.

A Guy . . . Get’s “Push-y”

This heritage probably explains our love of DIY. This fall, my weekends have been consumed with a project; specifically, with building a 60 x 25’ high tunnel* (also called a “hoop house” or, by the lay person, a “greenhouse.”) This project was made particularly urgent by the delay of the approval for finding (a government grant) due, first, to political turmoil and second, by excessive flooding in my home state. The point is, we did not get started on the high tunnel until september and with the annual threat of an early winter bearing down on us, the race was on.

My “work crew” was myself, my 13 year-old-son, with occasional assistance from my wife, and various other family and friends. In order to ge this done, I allowed myself, uncharacteristically, to a few “helps” like ordering scaffolding to reach the heights of this 14.5 foot structure.

When the scaffolding arrived, I drove to my local Home Depot to pick it up. After “settling up” with the cashier, a young employee helped me take the packages out to my trailer where we were loading it up. We loaded it and began preparing to strap it down, when a voice rang out, “I don’t mean to be ‘that guy',’ but I’ve hauled a lot of scaffolding, and if you bend those cross braces, it will make it a lot harder to set up and use.” I looked up in surprise. He repeated, “I really don’t want to be ‘that guy,” he said, apologetically—hands stretched out, palms up, in supplication—” but I hate to see it be harder for you,” he concluded.

Well, I’m midwestern, and maybe even a little stubborn, but I recognize when a guy is just trying to help. Having no experience with scaffolding, I was also not prone to take offense. So, I thanked him, genuinely, and reassured him that he wasn’t interfering since I have never used scaffolding, and we adjusted the load.

Lesson learned. Right? Simple enough . . . . Be helpful and be willing to accept help! If only it was. We humans have a way of making the simple complex . . . and way more difficult than it really is.

To wit:

A Snow Day in Memphis

When I was young, we moved to Memphis where I attended graduate school. It just so happened that when we moved there the town had it’s worst winter in several decades. Memphis, like much of the south, is not accustom to snow (someone told me the entire city only had two snow plows and both were at the airport) and the city was at a stand still.

For us “northerners” however this was a “god-send” days off from school, we drove around going to empty movie theaters, rescuing stranded motorists, and, frankly, exercising unfair and condescending thoughts about the lack of ability in drivers to handle the snowy conditions. (Everybody needs to feel superior about something, right?)

At one point, I had driven my wife down to an interview with the University of Tennessee, and the supervisor was so surprised my wife showed up that she was sure that it was one reason she got the job. On the way back, I observed a car in front of me that was having great difficulty. It was spinning it’s tires causing the rear end of the car to slide sideways, banging the rear tire against the curb. The driver, then would let off the gas, try “gunning it” again and steering to get away from the curb causing the front of the car to swing and hitting the front tires against the curb.

We watched as the driver alternatively banged his car, back and forth, slowly inching up the street. I worried that as the driver, who appeared to me to be an elderly woman, continued this pattern they would eventually do significant damage to their car’s alignment or worse. Getting up the courage, I checked traffic behind me, swung out and around the car, and excellerated, carefully, to get in front. My thought was to pull over significantly ahead of the car and to render some advice and/or aid.

But as I passed the car, I looked over, and saw, to my surprise, that the driver was not an elderly woman. Instead, the driver was a 30-40 year old man. I thought about the prospects of having this 22 year old “know-it-all” telling him how to drive his car and concluded, right or wrong, that providing assistance would be likely to be met with contempt or worse. I sadly drove on as “bumper-car-ed” his way up the street.

Another time, when a Guy, Me, Decides Helping Isn’t Interfering.

On another day, many years later, the “shoe was on the other foot.” I saw someone, or rather a couple, that I thought needed help. But I wasn’t sure I could offer it.

The couple were both in wheelchairs. They were on a sidewalk outside my office. It was on a late Saturday afternoon and I was the last one leaving the building. The parking lot was empty. My lone care sitting parked awaiting my arrival.

As I walked out, I noticed the couple and something seemed odd. They were both stopped. The man’s chair, which was in front of the woman’s and close to the boundary line of the sidewalk and our parking lot’s drive, seemed to be at a bit of an angle.

I wondered, “Do they need help?” I worried, obviously overcomplicating the situation, that I might make them uncomfortable by “staring” or insulting them by assuming they needed an “able-bodied normal” to assist.But as a walked on, taking furtive glances, I became more convinced that something was amiss. Realizing that no other help was likely in a timely fashion, I made up my mind, changed direction, and approaching them asked, “is everything alright?” It was not.

To put it succinctly, the man’s chair had hit the seam in the concrete and tipped slightly. He was stuck trying to get back into the chair properly. It was a small matter, to help him resituation himself, and get them on their way. The couple expressing thanks for the help and me being relieved that my “overthinking” didn’t cause me to avoid a simple act of rendering a small assistance.

So, Just make up your mind and be “that guy or gal!”

So, just do it. Throw off the fear. Be bold. Risk getting your intentions being misunderstood . . . and help where you think it is needed. Obviously, use good judgement and don’t put yourself in harm’s way but don’t let the reason you don’t hope be simply because of the fears and the feelings.

It Happened Again . . .

Yesterday, I was driving through a local fast food line and it happened again. I was in line, had ordered my lunch, and when I approached the window, the employee told me that the person two cars ahead had paid for my order. It was the second time this had happened at that same drive-through. Someone’s “paying it forward” and isn’t afraid to act. It made the day better.

Don’t be afraid. Make it a better world. Be your best self. Just do it.

Other HSC Resources

Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people.

Lessons Learned Around the World: People-centered leadership,A. Keith Miller, Major, U.S. Airforce (Retired)

Family Legacy: Protecting family in family business.

Private Practice Contracting: A path away from insurance dependency.

Entreprenural Tendrils

DIY’ers at Heart. This fall was spent building our second “hoop house” for my wife’s farm business. Finished it just before the snow started!

Those of you who subscribe or follow our blog know that HSC did not start because of a “grand design” of becoming an entrepreneur. Quite the opposite! HSC because of a desire to help in the aftermath of an industrial accident and continued largely due to the serendipity of finding out that we had a lot to offer to organizations.

In fact, our entrepreneurial path was started, and continued, due to the support of, and learning from, others who were, themselves more prone to the avant guard. So, I find it interesting to find that others in my immediate circle either have always had, or have been encouraged to, the interest in using their gifts in entrepreneurial endeavors.

To encourage your own growth toward entrepreneurial adventure, here are a couple examples of what those in my circle are doing. Both, mind you, from a small village of about 2,000 in rural Nebraska. Enjoy!!

My favorite small farmer (my wife) is offering a give away! Amy grows heirloom tomatoes, etible flowers, and “veg” to sell to local chefs. She also sells a few things (cookbooks, and hand made rolling pins) on line. Right now she is running a “flash give away” of her Coon Creek Herbs. Coon Creek Herbs Give Away!

Here it is . . . Coon Creek Herbs.

Andrew, our graphic designer, continues his game development with the release of The Cloud Dungeon, 2nd Edition and his new Fantas/Tragedy video game: Thistledown. The first, being a follow up to his original paper role-playing game chosen that launched as a successful Kickstarter project and that was chosen as a “Staff Pick” by Kickstarter.

Andrew also approached us with a tantalizing idea . . . and if you are a fan of the hilarious audio program “Cabin Pressure” and the John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme . . . watch for an update later in 2020.

So, dream big, people! Follow your passions. Use your gifts. Create and thrive. Test the limits of the possible and find that what success is not elusive but probable.

Holiday Season . . . Work . . . Stress . . . and Family"

Andy Williams, Wikipedia

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” I can still hear Andy William’s voice in my head as he sings this old classic.

And it is. The holidays can be a great time . . . except when it’s not. The stress, the strains of relationships, balancing work and family . . . it often is “the most stressful time of the year.”

So here are a few brief tips to help you, professionally and personally, get through it all.

Five Tips to Survive the Holidays

1. Control what you can. Focus on your “scheme”—what decisions you can make to get through this—not the “dream” that the hard things will suddenly be easy or go away. The pressure of a deadline, the demands of the end of the year at work and family obligations—the hard things will probably still be hard—but you can make decisions about how to manage them. Focus on what you can do not what is out of your control.

2. Create, or be, a boundary. A correlarry of #1 , , , many times stress comes from not being willing to create, sustain, and enforcing your own boundaries. Talking to the boss about having reasonable expectations, setting limits on the hours you work, or insisting that family members respect your choices isn’t easy. But creating clear, firm, yet flexible boundaries as needed can help manage stress in the long run. (See work post on Good Fences or family post on Reclaiming Relationships)

3. If you are overwhelmed, find ways to focus on grounding yourself in the present. The goal is to be in the “here and now” not the “then and there” of the past or future. Too often our “anxious brain” tries to sort out how to fix the past or the future while our “calm brain,” if we could access it, knows that there is nothing that we can do today to change either one. Being overwhelmed is a physiological state that can be moderated through practicing techniques that will allow better willingness to be in the present moment, accept all of your experience—positive and negative—and be more able to engage with the calm mind.

4. Create space. Again, this relates to the earlier items in terms of control and boundaries. The idea is to simply, slow down. Take a break. Do something that is only for resting and relaxing. The temptation is always there to work harder, skip lunch, take on one more thing . . . and many of us can do this and still perform well. But at what cost? When those that do not create space complete a project they “had to do” . . . do they feel satisfied? No. Often they simply move on and begin to feel the stress and anxiety of the next project. Creating space often, to their surprise, does not take away from what they accomplish and makes the effort more satisfying.

5. Focus on being grateful. Remember that much of the stress in our lives comes from the vary things that, from a different vantage point, are blessings. The stress of having a job rather than being unemployed. The demands of gift giving, hosting celebrations, the tensions or relationships, are experienced by those whose have been given “much” and who have important others in their lives to share it with during this season. Even in the midst of the toughest seasons of life,* there are things to be grateful for . . . if you will look for them.

Okay, I’ll stop there. Hope these five reminders help you this holiday season. I’ll end by wishing you, as Andy might have, the “hap- happiest season of all!”

* As an example, the year 1992 was my low. That year my younger brother was killed. I was approaching the holiday season with a significant amount of dread about what it would be like trying to “survive” it without him. While it was a hard season, I came through it realizing a couple of important lessons on gratitude. First, that the pain was in part because I had been blessed to have the relationship I enjoyed with my brother; and Second, having my wife, my children, and family around me, gave me plenty of opportunities to recognize the blessings I had even with the loss of my brother.

Employee Retention: a matter of "Who Are You?"

The Who . . . Wikipedia

“Who are you? Who, who, who, who? I really wanna know.” Lyrics from The Who, 1978

Employee Retention: a Critical Threat

First, some things remain constant. For example, younger workers, as they have always done historically, will continue to resign at a higher rate than older workers. Industries dependent on a younger workforce will continue to face turnover pressures compared to those with an older average age. However, market and societal changes have brought changes in employee behavior that will continue to present challenges in 2020.

In general, leaving a job continues to be a product of two factors: 1. Employees increasing their pay; and 2. Opportunity for growth. (See a recent CNBC Make It article)

“The reason people are quitting today is because the labor market is so competitive that the only way they can get a significant increase in income is by quitting and going to another job.” Brian Kropp, V.P. of Gartner as quoted by Abigail Hess

With the old business adage that employees ”join organizations but leave supervisors”— managerial effectiveness, developing employees, active leadership, and guiding change are critical tasks facing organizations in 2020.

While the fading “Baby Boomer” cohort may continue to demonstrate some loyalty to organizational “brand” and riding out their careers with their current employer, younger cohorts increasingly see job changes as desirable for economic or lifestyle preferences.

Those lifestyle preferences may be personal or, increasingly, corporate.

Questions to Address Retention

Three Critical Questions Leaders Can Ask Themselves

1. What kind of an organization are we?

2. Who are we likely to attract as employees”

3. How can we use this “brand” to retain employees in 3030?

Some organizations lean toward achievement, high compensation, opportunity and success. An example might be McKinsey & Company. Employees are likely motivated by compensation and prestige. Others are service oriented. Employees are more attune with the mission of the organization and their own contribution to that mission. Think an organization like The Salvation Army. Another subset, are “the best available.” Meaning that employees see the organizations as the best opportunity in their location, industry, or specific circumstances. Some are the “zany” cutting-edge, trendy, culture-focused workplaces. A local Pixar-type story.

A Single “Core Phrase” May Identify Who you Are

Think about how your brand is reflected in what is emphasized in your every day work. In my career, for example, the organizations I have worked for could have their “brand” defined by one, specific, succinct statement . . . and it was not the official mission statement! Instead, it was a common phrase heard, repeatedly, in the organization.

“Special place, special experience.”—Small college.

“Customers first.”—Gas Station

“A sense of urgency” —Federal Express

“Community safety net.”—Non-profit

“You eat what you kill.”—Private Practice

I hear similar statements from other organizations . . . often they are “tag lines” in their marketing. Only employees know if these statements truly reflect the culture of the organization.

The coffee’s always on. (Local business)

The way you treat employees is the way they’ll treat customers. (Virgin)

You’re in good hands. (Allstate)

Who You Are . . . will Determine Who you Attract

One organization I am very familiar with was great at attracting members. Their core culture was one of support and acceptance. As a result, they got a lot of “looks” and new members. Unfortunately, they didn’t keep them. Why? I believe, it was because their identity didn’t include a vision for a long-term branding. They were good at being welcoming, supportive, and created a comfortable environment but once members were a part of the organization . . . there was not a clear definition of who the organization was.

The organization constantly tried. They came up with new tag lines and mission statements with regularity. Members were told that they were going to “Hit it Out of the Park” (or a similar phrase) but what was the “It” that we were going to swing at?

Another organization had lofty goals. But the real culture was defined by the CEOs comments which often ran along the line of . . . “We’re not here to have fun,” or similar comments. Intended, I think, to emphasize the importance of the work being done (and perhaps as an excuse for not having a more culture-focused approach) it was clear to employees that the job was going to be “all work and no play” and contributed to a dour, oppressive, and depressed work force.

Among organizations trying to attract milliners it’s often understood that organizations today need to present a community focus or social responsibility element to attract employees. This may, however, rebuff other potential employees.

Being True to Who you Are is Critical for Employee Retention

Knowing how you attract employees . . . can be a key to knowing how to keep them. Why do your employees work for this organization? It’s not a simple question. Leaders often make assumptions about employee’s reasons and how they see the organization. Few really know. They don’t ask.

Engage employees. Find out what really drew them to work for this organization and not another. Use it to help define who you are and, then, lean into that identity. The only reason to not do this is that the identify is a dysfunctional one. Then the fix needs to be systemic—and beyond the focus of this particular post.

Coffee and Talk about Private Practice through Contracting . . . Coming soon!

Coffee & Talk: A free conversation about contracting that will jump start your practice in 2020!

An Opportunity . . .

Professionals who subscribe to our email list have received notice of an opportunity for “Coffee & Talk” we will be starting in January. They are helping pick the optimal dates and times for these 60-90 minute, on-line, chats.

The goal? To help them shorten the learning curve to getting contracts. The talks help to motivate and energize professionals and provide advice that will reduce the effort it takes to get started with contracting and consulting.

Typical Results

For example, the feedback I got from my most recent talk with professionals in the Atlanta area yielded the following results:

"I felt motivated and more focused. I'm encouraged to get started."
"I need to rethink how to use the Services Chart to fine tune my products."
"I just sent a follow up email to a potential customer who took a survey for me."

Joining the Conversation

These specialized talks are only for professionals in the behavioral health sciences. Numbers will be limited, as needed, to insure the ability to actively participate in the Q&A session. Subscribers will have preference, of course, but others may attend if space allows.

Interested parties can get updates through joining our email list (receiving our free eBook Private Practice through Contracting) or through contacting us and indicating your interest in being invited to a Coffee & Talk event.

Our Free eBook.

It's Halloween . . . and time to face the fears of 2020!

The locus of this fall’s fears . . . working with metal saws to build our new “hoop house.” (See below)

Halloween! So let’s talk about fear.

It’s Halloween. Or All-Hallows’-Eve if you prefer. Time for cute costumes, “haunted” houses, tricks, and a little good ‘ole fright. Public radio is playing spooky music (from Psycho) and reviewing the scariest movies. Parents are talking about their kid’s costume choices. All is abnormally normal. Maybe not exactly normal, after all, the Nationals won the World Series, but I digress.

I was on a video chat earlier this week with some professionals talking about contracting and consulting. I mentioned that I assumed when I started that other professionals were more comfortable than I was in acting as an entrepreneur and “putting themselves out there” doing marketing and sales, since I had no background in this area. But, it turns out, I was not that different from most professionals. Once again I was reminded of this as we talked as one prevalent theme I heard in the questions I was asked was . . . fear.

I told them that one of my biggest challenges when I started more than 20 years ago was getting through my own fears. Fear that I didn’t know enough yet, that I wouldn’t be able to find customers, that I would somehow fail. Building confidence, isn’t some big secret. But, somehow we believe the route to success is a lack of fear. No. Success isn’t convincing yourself that the fear is irrational—first, it’s not entirely irrational; and second, the part that is irrational—“catastrophic thinking”—can’t be fixed by reasoning. The person typically already knows that what they are facing is just fear and they themselves, and others as well, have already told them that their fear is irrational. What works is finding ways to successfully take reasonable “leaps of faith” and succeedi

Learning to Use the Saw

I use examples (like the metal chop saw above) to ask professionals I coach, what will make my fear of using this new, and potentially dangerous, tool diminish. Will it being reminding myself that I have used lots of other power tools? Being reassured that “it’s not that hard” and “I can do it?” Maybe watching You Tube videos of how to use the tool? Reading the manual?

All of these help, minimally. (Actually, reading the manual introduced new fears . . . like the blade cracking and flying apart) But these steps don’t drive away the fear. What does? Using the saw.

So, on this day of Goblins, Witches, and Fright, and as you prepare for 2020—embrace fear. Press forward. Focus on what comes after the fear (like the hoop house, see below) that will provide service and joy—not to mention revenue for my wife’s business—for many years.

Use what ever resources you need to help bolster your courage to take the next reasonable risk. In the end, it is highly likely that the benefits of your success will outweigh the terror of the moment.

Success! Here is one of the framed ends I built with the new saw. Kind of look forward to using it . . . now.

Tips on finding People-Gifted, Business Sense, Consultants

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Finding People-People with Gifts for Business—A follow up to our post “Making it look easy”

Hiring the Right Consultant is Not Simple

Hiring a coach/consultant for human system’s or organizational culture issues is not easy. While I touted in my last post hiring “people-people” for human systems issues, the truth is, it is even more complex. You will need someone gifted in people . . . and someone with experience with organizations.

Making the assumption that any “people-person”—any expert in behavioral health issues—will “do fine” in the organization arena can be just as naive as assuming any business consultant has the necessary people skills**. . Leaders make this mistake when they expect professionals with gifts in business to be good with people issues in a consulting role. At the same time, many leaders make the mistake of referring employees with work issues to therapists. This leads to very mixed results because many therapist have limited experience with organizational leadership. They are experts in mental health and if the issues are really individually-based—anger, anxiety, chemical dependency—then this may be an appropriate referral. If it is a broader issue that includes leadership, management, or or institutional issues, it may be ineffective or detrimental.

Finding the Right Gifts

So, what’s a leader to do? First, determine if the issue in organizational or an individual’s behavioral “problem.” Second, if it’s an individual issue consider a referral to EAP or an independent mental health professional. Third, if it is truly an organizational issue—creating new HR policies, a strategic plan, or new electronic records system— consider a business coach or consultant. Fourth, if is is organizational but has elements of an interpersonal or “human” element—organizational culture, team conflict, motivation, etc.—find someone gifted with people that also has experience in organizational leadership.

To determine if a “people-person” has the necessary organizational skills can be tricky. Below are some questions you can ask the professional to assess their ability to act as a systems consultant and not just a therapist.

Questions to Ask

Questions to ask a therapist to determine if they can act as a human systems consultant or coach:

• What experience have you had in leadership/managerial roles?

• What areas of an organization would you not give advice on?

• What, to you, is the definition of a healthy work team/organization/leader?

• What are the primary causes of problems in teams/organizations? (Look for an understanding of systems)

• Tell me about a time you helped a team/organization with a cultural/systemic change?

• What would you consider to be a successful outcome from an organizational consulting contract? (Again, looking for an awareness or organizational goals not simply personal goals.)

Ask these questions and you will get a feel for the ability of the consultant to use their people gifts in an organizational system. (As consultants you need to keep it simple—Like Steve Jobs)

** Having trained during the heyday of systemic theory, I feel fortunate to have studied topics like “Cybernetics of Cybernetics” and “Human Networks# as well as more traditional “organizational consulting” topics. Many younger therapists I talk have not had this systemic focus and are more likely to have had training in narrative or postmodern topics. Our Leading Edge Coaching with these professionals often is the first introduction these professionals have to understanding human systems.

In the last post I shared a picture of my Taylor 614ce acoustic. Here is my other “axe.” A custom built “Batswatter” electric built by my brother as a surprise gift. Ne, I’m not a huge Batman fan. There is a personal bat story that prompted the time. Oh, and it lights up. Too cool for my skill set.

Making it look easy . . . .

Just built and primed this window frame on our four-season porch. I can do the work but my contractor makes it look easy!

Aligning With Gifts . . . for Success

I am convinced that when a person is using their real gifts, they make things that are hard . . . look easy. This is just the opposite of what happens when I play guitar.

To be fair . . . I have a lot of technical skill with a guitar . . . but playing guitar, and creating music in general, is not one of my gifts. I work hard to produce a good sound with my Taylor 613ce . . . something other musician’s appear to do easily, but . . . for me . . . is a lot of work. One night, I was struggling with a particular section of Eric Clapton’s classic Tears in Heaven—a piece that I eventually would master . . . after months and months of work. I asked my son, who has his mother’s gift for music, if he could help me with figuring out a particularly difficult section. “Sure,” he replied. “I’ll look at it.” The next day—the next day!— he came back playing the entire piece. “I’m not talking to you anymore!” I joked. In truth, I’m used to it. All my kids (6 in number) excel at things that are not my gifts—like art, writing, drama, etc.

When my son plays guitar, unlike his father, people pull out their phones and start taking pictures; or they ask me, “Is he left-handed?” (He’s not.) It is definitely something that comes much easier for him than it does for me. Fortunately, my son doesn’t see this particular gift as something that sets him apart, and above, others. “Talent is as common as table salt,” he quotes . . . when others admire his gift . . . and he’s right. Everyone is gifted.

Here is my Tayler. Love this guitar!

Gifts and Making It Look Easy

Gifts are what people can do easily. While I can’t master a challenging guitar piece without a crazy amount of work. I can read a room of people—even a room full of strangers—with a high degree of reliability. I see patterns I understand behavior. My family has forbid me, due to my ability to recognize patterns, from telling them what is coming in a movie, play, or television show . . . but I almost always know. While having a Ph.D. in human development enhanced this ability, the truth is, I have always been able to do it easily . . . and I can’t even tell you how I “know” except that I pick up on patterns and nuances of non-verbal and verbal cues. Oh, I’m also “on to” the patterns that writers and producers use to throw you off . . . so the viewer won’t predict what is coming. All my family members have such gifts. Things they can do easily that the “old man” can’t do well. Whether it’s grammar, spelling, music, art, theatre . . . truly talent and gifts are “common.”

If you want to learn to play guitar . . . hire my son. Want an editor, an artist, a recommendation for choreography? I can’t point to the kids in my family that have these gifts. You don’t want to hire me to teach you guitar—someone who has learned a lot of technique bur is limited in this area—lest you curtail your own development. Could I teach a beginner? Sure. But if they are gifted in music, I would need to pass them on to someone else very quickly to avoid delaying their development. The same goes for the other areas I mentioned that are not my gifts. In the same way, hiring people for their gifts will make hitting your targets more likely. I see leaders hiring business, finance, marketing, or other coaches then asking them about how to manage people. Maybe that’s okay if this is an area of gifting but most of the time I’d like them to work with someone whose talent and expertise is in human systems.

Giftedness . . . in Coaching/Consulting

This is why I beat the drum for leaders to hire “people-people” when it comes to improving their organizational culture. And the reason why we have spent a lot of time training graduate students and professionals in the mental health sciences to work with organizations and businesses.** Because a lot of business consultants have developed a techniques and tools for helping but, if they are not working in an area of gifts, their outcomes are likely to be poor over time. Poor simply because they are not working in an area of gifting and the things that come easily to others are not their strengths. (For a real-life example, see our post Consultant, Stay in Bounds! In this post we tell the all-too-familiar story of a consultant asked to work outside their area of gifting and the traumatic consequences on an organization). If interested, you can also check out a related post on why Consultants and Clients Shouldn’t be Friends or how Steve Jobs used his talents at Apple.)

Using Your Gifts

So, if you are a coach or consultant, make sure you are practicing within your area of giftedness. (Keep it simple. Focus on your core services.) Don’t let your own ambition, other people’s vision for your career, or the pressure of the organization or leader’s needs make you operate outside your “sweet spot.” Refer to someone whose gifts align with the needs. Hopefully, they in return, will do the same and refer to you the organizations and leaders that you can help with your gifts. Everyone “wins” and success is more likely. Also, be intentional about continuing to develop your gifts. Invest in training, coaching, and other self-development activities to enhance, expand, and deepen your gift. This will continue to make the value you can provide to organizations or leaders increase over time. It will also help to “fill the pipeline” of work and bring you more opportunities.

Hiring for Gifts

If you are an organizational leader, hire a coach or consultant for their specific gifts and do not let them—or let yourself—expect them to work outside their area of expertise. This particularly is a risk over time. A trusted advisor, who has helped in the past, is asked to work on something new. The focus is on the trust. But is this the right person, with the right gifts, for this particular problem or task? Rarely, is this the focus. The leader and coach/consultant simply assume they can tackle a new “problem” . . . and perhaps they can, but at what cost to efficiency and with what degree of risk? Smart leaders find the right tool for the job and smart leaders/consultants find the right set of gifts to maximize success.

In our next post we will offer tips for choosing consultants/coaches that have the people-gift and that are prepared to handle organizational issues.

** Even professionals in the people area need training and identifying their gifts. All “people-people” are not gifted in the same way either. Some are great at analytical thought, statistics, but not good at people skills. Others are great with people but struggle to use the analytical tools to help leaders. Some may be great at strategic planning and poor at conflict resolution. Others may be great at personnel issues but not good at visioning. It all depends on how they are gifted.

Disney or Pixar? Believing and Investing in You . . . (r) Career

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Chasing Past Success . . . Leads to Failure

Do you want to be Disney or Pixar? (Yes, I know that Pixar is, now, once again, Disney. But hang on and you’ll I think you’ll see my point.) What am I implying in this comparison? Simply, that everyone makes a choice to either let the “industry” or the “dream” determine their professional path. There was a time where my view of these two companies was like this:

Disney was, in my view, playing it safe. They tightly controlled access to their products (still do), not allowing them to be readily available, and using “new” releases of their content to resell their most successful products, or they remake the popular products (over and over) to create new revenues—and for a time, created little new and interesting products. From a business viewpoint, leveraging their past successes was working—to some degree. But they seemed unaware of the losses they were experiencing through this operational stagnation—the “opportunity costs” of not growing and not capturing new markets. They were stagnant.These costs were exposed when employees left and created Pixar.

Pixar, comprised of employees who left Disney, on the other hand, believed in telling a great new story. They believed that creating a strong story and allowing their team the creative freedom to design the telling of that story would be compelling to their customers. The leaders wanted to create a more dynamic, supportive, team that would engage in finding new stories worth telling. They left Disney because of the constraints on their vision or creating a new process and new products. They found a new niche that exploded with customers for their products—and Disney, eventually, recognizing their missed opportunity—eventual bought them and brought them back into their company.

Fear. The longer I have been a professional, the more I recognize fear as being a primary roadblock for people in many areas of life. From the “narcissist” who will not admit to making mistakes, doesn’t apologize, and who dominates conversations to avoid feeling vulnerable or out of control to the “codependent” who will not stand up for their own best interests, accommodates to everyone else’s wishes and who may enable destructive behavior around them—fear is often one of the causal factors of this behavior.

I have no doubt that there was fear at Disney. What if we go to the expense of creating a new product and it fails? Better to “play it safe” with what we know works. Too often, leaders cling to the successes of the past and forget that the successes came from forging new paths. Disney, once the vanguard of something new, let the past—their own history within their industry—determine their orientation for the future. In a sense, the industry standard was now defining Disney. Not Pixar. Pixar wanted to reshape the industry. They wanted to return to a time when new stories, well told, and creative presentation would become the standard.

Fear and Change

In this blog, we’ve written about fear regularly, we’ve focused on the problems of management by fear. We’ve talked about the lies that people tell themselves to protect themselves and avoid unwanted fears, We’ve detailed the problems expressed by ego, trust, mistakes, or control. Finally, we talked about fear in transitions in family businesses. Fear is a powerful enemy. For many it promotes the prey mentality . . . “don’t move and maybe you’ll survive” . . . for other’s it promotes action . . . “keep moving or you might become lunch.” The best approach to fear is to recognize it but not let it “drive the bus.” Analyzing when it is an indicator of real threats or when it is just a conditioned response.

Professionals are no different than the leadership at Disney. The average professional is content to let the profession shape their practice. Right now, the losses due to “opportunity costs” are not particularly painful. Professionals can make a good living. Many over the course of their career dream about changes they would like to see in their professional practices (like no weekend or evening work, less paperwork, providingnmore educational groups, going entirely private pay, or offering a new type of service) but lack an understanding of the steps to reach their goals, do not have the proper supports, or are fearful of the perceived risks.

At one time in my career I joined a group of professionals whose goal was to support the work of private practitioners. I didn’t attend long. Why? Because, in my estimation, the group primarily focused on the fears the group members had of making a transition into private pay. I heard a lot of support for members but few “solutions” or guidance on how to get to a private pay model. Frankly, if I would have lived in that community it might have been worth while to continue but I decided the value wa not worth a commitment of half a day to attend (travel, meeting, and return trip). Hopefully, those who stayed got something they needed out of it.

Most professionals, in my experience, “go it alone” or with the support of a small set of colleagues, the support of a practice they join, or a mentor. They are limited by the experience, vision, and yes, even fears, of their circle of supporters. Many would benefit from getting outside their parochial environs and find support from coaches that have successfully traversed the path they want to take. Few will.

Approaching . . . cautiously . . . Changes to your practice

Taking risks by investing in one’s own career is often taken tentatively, if at all, by most professionals. They fearfully stop working weekends or cut back on their evenings. They drop an insurance provider with poor fees. The average practicianer will also, of course, attend trainings that they can see will directly help them in their career—a new technique (EMDR training), method of service delivery (Neurofeedback), or product (coaching)— but exploring the cutting edge of practice, new modalities of practice and the changing landscape of engaging professional services are paths chosen rarely, and only by the few.

So, as an example, the enterprising few have created on-line venues for providing counseling and coaching on-line (see, for example, PSYPACT). An increasing number fo professionals over time follow these explorers by joining and providing the services once the framework has been created. More, perhaps most, may take a “watch and wait” stance to see how new approaches “shake out” in the industry. Still others, wary of the ethical challenges, professional licensing limitations, and potential legal risks will not—unless compelled—engage in any way this new frontier of practice and may even question the motives, ethics, and professionalism of those who do. Yet, at it’s very core, it is a change, either good or bad, that is happening and that is unlikely to be stopped, in my opinion, unless it is addressed through regulation on a national level.

No, a professional should never practice in a way they deem to be unethical, of dubious benefit to clients, or out of their scope of expertise. But . . . that doesn’t mean that professionals have to limit themselves to the constraints of the past either. The profession has always changed and grown. From it’s roots in neurology, to the application of psychological principles in industry, to the application to artificial intelligence, the field will continue to evolve. Professional vision and the opportunities they cease will lead the movement. Will you be in your career? Part of the vanguard, scouting out new territory? Perhaps, preferring the safety of journeying among peers positioning yourself firmly in the group? Or, perhaps, the trailing the pack and holding on to the past territory?

This week, I got an email from a professional who is taking part in our Leading Edge Coaching**. We had to delay our meeting but she noted that she has a new contract and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. Good for her! She is courageously moving toward her preferred future and finding that it is possible.

**Leading Edge Coaching (LEC) is our process to provide specially-tailored coaching to a limited number of professionals who want to add contracting and consulting to their “toolbox” of services. Coaching is a monthly one-on-one with Bryan G. Miller, Ph.D.—with most of the work carried out between coaching sessions to keep the cost minimal. The goal of LEC is to help professionals to get their first contract within 6-9 months or expand their current contracts. Space is limited to protect the quality of the service. For further information or to request a spot in our 2020—or beyond—coaching cohort contact us. We promise that there will never be any pressure and all services are provided on an unconditional money back guarantee.

A little free help . . .

Andrew delivering his TEDx talk.

Trouble getting your courage up to launch your next step in your career? Well, here is a little free help . . .

Andrew, a co-collaborator with HSC and the creator of a number of successful Kickstarter campaigns and paper and electronic games is doing free, one-hour, Self-Sabotage Sundays. Andrew does an amazing job of helping getting through the “psychological barriers” to moving forward as a creative person and self-employed individual.

So, need a little push? Join Andrew and I am sure you will find, as I do in our collaborative meetings, that his knowledge, encouragement, and energy will send you on your way thinking of how you can take the next step and not wrestling with the fear and doubt, remaining paralyzed with in-action.

Here’s that link again: Join Sabotage Sundays.

Benefits Discovered through Consulting

Why not “just do therapy?” It’s a question I used to get asked by graduate students working on degrees in mental health and who took my class on consulting.. “I have a low boredom threshold!” was my snappy repartee to this question. A more serious answer, however, is buried within that tongue-in-cheek response. While my students were a quiver with eagerness to begin their chosen career, I had been doing therapy for years and, although 25+ years in, I still love what I do in my private practice—it’s not the only thing I love to do; nor, do I want to simply do the same thing for the remained of my professional life. “Wash, rinse, and repeat” can be a dull rut. Eventually, those same students saw the benefits and their enthusiasm led me to publish my first book about our methods in 2011.

So, I think it is always a good thing to seek to grow and if that is in refining and mastering one specific area of expertise, fine. But it also can be moving on to master—of if not master in terms of being “better than anyone else”— or deliver quality products and services in new areas, developing new skills, and continue to learn.

For example, I have an acquaintance who takes the “master approach” to fine woodworking . . . and his work is exquisite. I commented to a friend about how my craftmanship was nowhere like his, and the friend responded, “Yes, but at least you get things done.” Fair point. He will build a few beautiful things. I will build lots of good things. With six children, one still home, and expecting our ninth grandchild, while working full time, maybe it is a trade-off that is necessary in my case—unlike my friend who is an “empty nester.”

Professionals who are happy doing their one thing, steadily improving on it over time, perfecting their craft . . . I am genuinely happy for you . . . and sometimes wonder if I should be more like you. But I’m not and, frankly, being that narrowly focused for years to my personality type would feel like—harkening back to the old westerns of the past— being buried up to your neck in the desert and left behind.

So, for those of us who value “getting things done” more than creating the flawless product and who want to continue to grow . . . even venturing into new areas . . . here is . . .

A list of experiences I have enjoyed about getting “beyond the couch” of therapy and into the world of consulting.

• Touring the Research & Development area of an international corporation. In the very first consulting work I was involved in, we worked with an international agricultural manufacturing company. This family-owned business is an industry leader and had 9 plants in the home location. As part of our tour, they showed us what they were working on for the future—it was like getting a peak behind the curtain at what Elon Mush was doing with Tesla.

• Learning about the needs of national utilities and how increase demand for power has led to sagging power lines Not being naturally “mechanically minded” and with limited education about engineering and physics (despite being a science major) We got to learn about the problems utilities face that are caused by increased demands for power (more current through the lines makes them sag.) and the very creative ways of offering solutions to avoid expensive interruptions of service and replacement.

• The progress made in cancer research and targeting of cancer-types with new medications. Learning about in-house research and the newer approaches to cancer treatment was an interesting side-benefit of one consulting gig.

• Lean Manufacturing, Just-in-Time stock management, and Kaizan. Again, our first gig with the agricultural firm intruduced us to some of the modern (at that time) approaches to inventory and manufacturing and how they were pragmatically implemented in a large organization.

• Different approaches to staffing, training, and supporting clergy working with local churches. Having worked with ecclesiastical organizations from many different traditions has been interesting in learning how they very in their approaches to their work with congregations, proving leadership and support, and deal with issues.

• Programs for supporting the provision of nutritious meals in government-supervised day care-senior services, etc. The work we have done with a number of non-profits, quasi-governmental bodies, or government programs has introduced us to the services and challenges of providing those services in venues operating on limited budgets and significant bureaucratic demands.

• Grant-funding for services in schools and non-profit organizations. I don’t consider myself a “grant-writer” still I have written, and received funding, for many grants. This process introduced us to the work of foundations, the methods they follow to try and address community-wide issues, and the challenges of “soft money” and creating sustainable projects through collaborative efforts.

• Narrative-based assessment of potential executive leadership hires. Hiring professionals and top leadership is always a challenge. Finding the right talent and someone whose performance mirrors their vitae/resume and interviewing skills is a demanding endeavor. While HSC does not specialize in this process, we have, due to our deep involvement with organizations been asked to sit in and help with this process in a few cases. Bringing our specialty . . . understanding people . . . to complement the organization’s business and technical skills has been rewarding.

• Team Training for Skill Building. Most leaders recognize the need for on-going training and skill building in their leadership. Too often that training is through ad-hoc external trainings chosen by the employees for their own idiosyncratic reasons (it is interesting, close to home, makes them more marketable) or provided in-house often by managers too busy with running the organization to devote significant time to develop the training to polished product. Wresting with the problem of leaders and employees needing to develop real skills has led us to develop, test, and implement trainings based on real skill development not just information and lecture. (This has been one area, training, where refining and repeating the trainings has led us to develop that master artisan approach by the way.)

Well, I hope that give the reader a little taste of the “side benefits” of becoming a consultant. Taking your knowledge and skills “on the road” allows you to help more people, can be refreshing work and a break from the heavy clinical focus for many professionals, and can increase your own potential for growing and learning about new industries, processes, and cultural changes operating all around you.

Other HSC Resources

Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people.

Lessons Learned Around the World: People-centered leadership,A. Keith Miller, Major, U.S. Airforce (Retired)

Family Legacy: Protecting family in family business.

Private Practice Contracting: A path away from insurance dependency.

Family Business . . . and . . . the DIY Problem

I love the concept of Do-It-Yourself or "DIY." After all, I come from the midwest. Farm country. The frontier. Pioneers. I know, first-hand, the value of challenging yourself, learning new skills, finding out just exactly what you can do on your own. As a family, we have cut our own DIY path in many ways--homeschooling our children, starting a business, running an acreage (we both grew up "in the city") and home-remodeling. It has been a great journey and I personally continue to "tilt" toward this framework.

But.

There are things I will not do. The accounting and taxes for my business. Legal filings. Retirement planning. Social media marketing. Graphic design. Plumbing. Why? Will get to that in a minute . . . 

Family Business owners are, in many ways, the very best of DIYers. If they were not comfortable with their own abilities--they would work for somebody else. Often they tend to like being in charge and are comfortable with looking to themselves to find answers. The successful ones have done this well. They are predisposed to "go it on their own" and take on tasks willingly.

Here’s my fall DIY. Building a second “greenhouse” more properly called a “high tunnel or hoop house.” BTW: This time, I did pay a pro to bring a Bob Cat and Auger to drill the holes.

Too often, however, Family Business owner's tendency to default to a DIY mode can become a "blind spot" that prevents them from seeing the times when an "outsider" would be an efficient and beneficial resource. 

Indications that you shouldn't DIY:

• if family unity is, or will be, compromised

• if figuring out how to deal with the issues will result in a poor outcome

• if the outcome you seek is more important than preserving your time and money

• if the situation is complex

• if you need to be personally involved in the process (rather than focused on managing it)

• if there are already signs of risk to the family or the business

So why don't I always go the DIY route? Simply because the outcomes are too important! Take for example, a few years ago I relied on an expert, and it is the reason that I am writing this blog post.

In short, I reached outside of my own DIY box. I purchased a book* on consulting with The Family Business (always trying to continue my own education!) The author, Janna Hoiberg, included information that was new and intriguing to me. It prompted me to ask myself a number of questions. I decided to send Janna an email asking for more information. She graciously replied, and the result was an offer to talk by phone. The phone call was very helpful. It answered a number of questions I had been considering for some time. Janna's experience and expertise provided, in a few minutes, what it might have taken me several months or years to learn on my own. 

So, step out of the DIY box . . . and leap forward!

*The Family Business: How to Be in Business with People You Love  . . . Without Hating Them