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What is it You Do?
When I explain to people what we do . . . use intensive interviewing to understand work teams and assist leaders through the development and implementation of action plans . . . I often get the question, "Don't leaders already know what is going on with their employees?” Good question. I think implicit in this question is a common misunderstanding. I think what is being asked in this case is often something like, "Do you really think that there are a lot of leaders out there with no idea of what is going on with their employees?" If this, revised, question is closer to what they are really asking, then the answer is an emphatic, "No!"
In fact, I trust that most leaders have a good idea of what is going on with employees. I believe that the majority have spent significant amounts of time trying to understand their employees and the impact of their leadership decisions on those employees. (This is why I think that consulting approaches that do not see the role of the consultant as a collaborative one are often misguided!) But . . . consider this . . .
Parents, arguably, know more about their children than anyone, yet often "what they know" can become the seeds of problems between them and their offspring. "You don't understand!" is a common complaint among those children. People are complex. Couples, likewise, know more about their partner than they know about any other of their relationships . . . and often have more trouble. Regularly it is at least partially because their knowledge invites them to assign blame and an unwillingness to make changes. Each person’s history of learning to cope and maintain their own psychological safely is unique and employee’s learn to lie . . . to themselves and others.
Knowing isn’t Understanding . . . Or a Plan of Action!
No, simply "knowing" is not enough. Leaders need to continue to challenge what they know--testing it to check it's validity. Leaders need a vision of where they want to go but they also need a clear understanding of where they are--without the polarizing lenses of self-deceiving "knowledge." The gap in a leader's "knowing" is reflected when a leader proclaims of his/her team "we are a family" only to have an employee mutter "a dysfunctional family."
Examples of Things Leader’s “Know” that Sustain Problems
Here is a list of things that leaders "knew" when we were contacted by them or began working with them. In each case, this knowledge proved to be a barrier to knowing rather than an accurate understanding of the situation.
people understand my irritability because I come from a different part of the country . . . it shouldn't effect how they view me as a leader
we provide information about employee benefits in a number of ways and times so employees can't have issue with that
if we tell employees about the financial status of the company they will have worse attitudes than they do now
my daughter is just stressed but she still appreciates working in the family business
the way we interact with employees works . . . its these particular employees attitudes that are the problem
we have a plan that all the leaders have agreed to and support
if I'm not in the room bad things happen (leader who refused to leave when board talked about his job performance, salary, etc.)
we already fane a (financial) consultant we can just use him to help us figure out the people issues
our family can handle these issues without getting an "outsider" involved (family business member now in litigation with siblings)
Learn more . . .
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I love words. I love twisting them and enjoying the nuances of language. I like the way it invites us to look at things from a new perspective. Lately I have been collecting words the help me to rethink how I see leadership, organizations, and consulting with those leaders and teams. So, just for the fun of it here are some words-=and how I see the connection--that hopefully will stretch you and make you think . . .
Leaderchipped: the state or effect of wear and tear on people in managerial positions. Leaders tend to get burned out, "used up," or even traumatized in their roles. They're "Leaderchipped."
Connexus: being together with a central point or important place; a process of being together with two or more intersecting points; making interactive relationships among people. From the Latin con to "be with" and nexus this is the heart of working with organizations and leaders. Consultants need to join with and be in the central "nerve center" of the organization to have an effect. They need "connects."
LeadHer, Guydance, DirectHer, ManagHer: the act of leading, guiding, directing or managing from a gender-specific viewpoint. Are there words to emphasize the differences and similarities experienced by leaders from different genders? I don't know. I haven't found a good one yet.
ExSample: a process of demonstrating the effect of having an outside viewpoint. In Consulting the data-gathering process (interviews in our process) often occurs before leaders recognize the value of having the outside perspective. In a sense the data-collection is an "ExSample" of how the outside perspective adds value to the organization.
OrganIzation: term used to demonstrate that the individual contribution, the I in organization, is an important consideration. As opposed to the adage "their is no I in Team" this emphasizes that the organization is, by necessity, made up of a multitude of individuals, and the auction of each "I" is critical to the organization as a whole.
Hegemony/Harmony: a dichotomy placing necessary command and control functions of management agains the desire for peace and avoiding conflict. Leaders and followers must navigate the tensions of structure/regulations/processes/people in ways that value the need for good practice and humane treatment. It is a challenging dichotomy to maintain.
A-sin-dency (Ascendency): attitude that projects ill-will or intent on people who desire to progress or succeed especially if that success appears driven by a financial or power/influence motive. For those, like myself, who have come out of the human services world there can be this attitude that makes entrepreneurial, business-owner, concepts an uncomfortable role. We must transcend the "money is evil" mindset.
Ampliflowcation; the process of increasing the amount of communication within a team or organization. Individuals within teams often avoid communicating, do not communicate enough, or begin to "scream out' their frustrations when there is a crisis. Ampliflowcation is often needed to begin to address the issues and find a new path--the communication needs to increase and be changed into something usable by the team.
Look, I didn't say I was good at playing with words. Just that I like playing with words. The most important part to me is that it is a tool to think about common experiences in ways that stretch my thinking. Now, those of you who are good at playing with words . . . what do you got?
Free ebook Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people.
Wikipedia
Where did that go wrong?
"Employees recommend having insurance benefit meetings in the evenings," I said as we gave our report to the senior managers of a large manufacturing company. We were finishing our consulting work with a company that had surveyed employees, found out some areas of concern, and asked us to come in and figure out how to help. "We already do!" the HR Director exclaimed, "I can show you!" he said, waving the company newsletter in the air. Sure enough, there in the newsletter was an announcement: Employee Benefit Meeting, Thursday, 7 pm. The date was the same week we were finishing up our interviews . . .
The classic 1953 skit "Who's on first" by Abbott and Costello is a delicious bit of miscommunication that often, sadly, is reminiscent of our business communications. We think we are communicating but often we simply . . . are . . . not. Worse than a "Who;s on first? miscommunication--which at least gives the parties the change to discover that their message is not be received as intended--we often "swing and miss," failing to communicate at all.
Take the senior management meeting I shared above. My colleague and I had spent six days working with employees in focus groups to follow up on the employee satisfaction survey that had identified some problem areas. One problem was "employee benefits." Our focus groups (Two three-hour meetings on this topic with 20 employees across 9 plants and all 3 shifts) focused on identifying what were the specific problems with employee benefits and creating recommendations for action plans for the senior management to follow up on.
One of the suggestions was that having benefit meetings in the evening would be helpful. This suggestion was particularly relevant because this company operated in a male-dominant industry (with fewer than 20% women employees) and the spouses were overwhelmingly the ones accessing the benefits. Employees explained that due to childcare, jobs, and other factors their spouses could not get away of attend meetings during the day and the employees, who could attend the meeting, did not because they did not "handle" the benefits.
So, a recommendation was crafted to ask for benefit meetings in the evenings. But, they already did have the meetings in the evenings. as the exasperated HR Director pointed out. He showed us the newsletter with the announcement. The air in the room was still with anticipation. What did this mean? How could employees not know this? Are the recommendations even valid? I pointed out that although this particular recommendation was a moot point, "It is obvious that you are already doing this. However, the fact that 20 of your employees were involved in drafting this recommendation and no one said, 'Uh, guys? We already do this!' says we have a problem."
Diving In
This led to a discussion on the use of the company newsletter. It turned out that the company was simply posting the newsletter on bulletin boards around the plants. However, employees only had time to read the newsletter before or after work with the result being that almost no one took the time to actually read them.
The problem? Communication. Leadership thought they were communicating by creating the newsletter. Employees were not happy but their "voice" had not been heard. Everyone was aware of the tensions in the workplace but until the survey identified benefits as a problem no one was tasked with figuring out how to fix it. The key, often, lies in communication. How do we communicate, when do we communicate, who do we communicate to, what do we communicate, and why is it important should be important considerations for any leader.
But communication is complex. People often communicate through their actions rather than their words. To reach their own personal goals they may obscure their real thoughts and emotions. They may avoid communication that, although important to the success of the team, puts them in a situation where they will feel uncomfortable or fear their job might be threatened.. Aggressive, avoidant, or "freezing" at moments of high emotional stress--such as when conflict occurs in the workplace--may further block good communication. If you've been a leader for a few years you know.
What can be done?
But what can you do as a leader to mitigate the impact of poor communication?
1. Model a belief that the goal is to grow, be efficient, improve, or master your workflow . . . not simply avoid mistakes. Employees know what you really value. It oozes out of everything you do--what you pay attention to, what you reward, what makes you react--and they know it's in their best interest to "give the boss what he/she wants."
2. Learn about your own communication style and challenges. Are you aware that you have a tendency to get defensive? Do you avoid the "hard" interactions with employees? Are you just tired of being a boss? Knowing where you are and how that effects your communication--and how it is effecting the organization--is critical to making adjustments.
3. Promote awareness of communication as an important business tool. One reason communication is often a problem is that no one focuses on it as a business concern. Yes, many are quick to not that it is a factor in the problems they experience but how many times have you hear of a company that has a "communication initiative" or a "communication program" for employees of managers? If you have, drop me an email. I'd love to hear that story.
4. Encourage the development of communication skills. Make communication one of the critical factors in evaluating your team, and each individual's, performance. Remind them that no successful team has ever been poor at communicating. If you want a practical, low-cost, and fun way of illustrating this check out the game "Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes." It's a fun game (about $15) where one person tries to defuse a "bomb" while another person or several people use the bomb manual to assist--but neither participant can see what the other one is seeing/doing. It quickly illustrates the challenges of communication. (We used it recently with a work team and it was the highlight of the workshop!)
5. Periodically and regularly use an external tool to identify and developing problems. Look, employees don't sit at home and ask themselves, "Is there anything I should be communicating to management that I haven't said?" Worse yet, they may know things that they would like to say but, like teenagers with parents, there are complex dynamics to actually having the courage to speak. "What will my boss think? How will other employees react? Will this influence who is promoted?" Employees need an "emotionally safe" space in order to give real accurate feedback. Anonymous surveys, external consultants, even Employee Assistance providers (if management focused) all can be independent sources of information and a "reality check" on what is really going on with employees.
6. Proactively address any issues identified. Communication is enhanced or diminished by what happens after the fact. People expect to see actions a result of their communication input. That action may be as simple as "thank you for your help" but often it needs to be something more. It needs to imply, at the least, that we really "heard what you told us" and, even more often should have an added element of "here is what is the result." Even if the result is negative it can meet this standard. "We understand what you are telling us but because of X we are not changing this right now. But we will reconsider it if or when X happens," can be effective action even if the employee does not like the outcome.
7. Expect new communication glitches., Time, learning, growth . . . many things contribute to having new communication problems. The compliant 5 year old becomes a pushy 13 year old. They have grown and developed but now there are new issues. I mentioned using the game "Keep Talking" above. When we were using it with the group the results at first were quite bad . . . the "bomb" went off overtime before they could defuse it. However they were beginning to understand and anticipate some of the problems. One was that they needed to figure out how to communicate more effectively about the "wiring" on the bombs. For this round, I gave out 3 bomb manuals to team members to help defuse the bomb. They immediately set to work organizations how they could "attack" the problem of understanding the wiring and help the team member who was at the "bomb site" working on the devise itself. This would have been a great strategy . . . except . . . it was based on the assumption that the next bomb would be like the others they had already attempted! But the new bomb didn't even have any wires. All their communication and preparation was useless.
Leaders, communication is central to everything you do. Just like branding, marketing, public relations are elements you need to be aware of in order for your company to succeed communication is key to your leadership success.
Free ebook Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people.
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Andrew doing a TedX talk
So, how does an "old dog" learn "new tricks?" I refuse to believe that I . . . strike that . . . they, the old dogs, can't. Maybe that's why I stubbornly strive to complete my training as a fingerstyle guitar player despite having limited skills and no talent . . . or it could be just that sheer stubbornness. Anyway, I digress from the point. How can someone . . . you or I . . . learn how to use the newer forms of marketing when we were not part of the technological generation?
Consultants. In my case a Social marketing/Graphic Designer who is 27 years old. I know. I was there when he was born. Yes, he is my son. But he is also someone who has developed two very successful Kickstarter campaigns, professionally works for firms in this capacity and, despite his youth, has widely read on the topic.
I know all of you don't have the good fortune of having a "kid" with this background, so, in this post I am going to summarize what I am learning.
1. Everything you do on-line should have a purpose. Is it to get traffic to your website? Get more people contacting you? Check out your free resources? Sign up for a newsletter? You should have one goal and bend everything about your on-line connections to that goal.
2. A few simple, consistent, activities are better than a complex unmanageable plethora of activities. An active website where people can connect to your email list may be the one thing that your activities should support. So creating a blog, connecting no LinkedIn and Facebook (or your own 2 favorite venues) maybe enough.
3. Providing value is key. You need to have good content, provide real value, and focus on helping others . . . not selling. People only buy things when they perceive that it has a value to them.
4. Having an outside consultant who doesn't get bogged down in the day-to-day fluctuations of operating your business helps tremendously. A meeting with my consulting son clarifies what needs to be done, how to do it, and unleashes my work ethic in a dynamic way that makes the time and cost well worth it. I'm a hard-sell on this myself (some would call it being cheap!) but I have learned to appreciate the value it provides.
So here's how it is laid out for my business . . .
Create high-quality "landing pages" on my website where people can get free ebooks
include links to these landing pages through blog posts, LinkedIn and Facebook
Add people to our email list and continue to provide them with valuable emails
Hopefully those who have additional needs will be interested in connecting with us at a higher level . . . through our publishing, training, and consulting
And here's the connection: Free ebook Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people. As a bonus you will get to see Andrew's graphic designs in the ebook.
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Mom's homemade grape jelly!
Our monthly "the best article I have found" series "Bread & Jam." Sharing one or two influential articles you can read while you make toast . . . and, of course, a little Jam--just for fun!
Enjoy!!
Please recognize that inclusion in the monthly Toast and Jam does NOT mean I agree with the author's opinions! In fact, sometimes it is quite the opposite! I plan to include cogent articles that challenge the reader's thinking and that, I hope, will get you asking "better questions"about your own particular situation!
Organizations and Business:
How to manage a toxic employee. Harvard Business Review
When you fix problems with mid-level managers you fix everything. Entrepreneur
The strange relationship between power and loneliness. Harvard Business Review
Consulting:
12 ways to generate leads for your consulting business. Entrepreneur.
The only 2 answers you need to make your next move. Great questions when exploring a consulting job!
Churches:
Why church leaders will never understand Millennials.
How to get people to respect your leadership.
And Jam: Fun and Curious:
Leadership Styles on TV entrepreneurs can learn from.
Interesting infographic on coffee beans.
Get our free ebook: Engage Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people.
Questions? Contact us.
In the consulting work I do with organizations and businesses, I have come to expect a point in time when I have to remind, or educate, the customer that asking questions is not a simple matter. You see, organizations can ask the same questions that consultants ask. They can conduct focus groups, develop surveys, do ethnographic interviews and often they believe that can do it as well as the consultants. Maybe they can.
But . . . the person asking the question makes a difference in the answer. Just like a teenager who tells one story to his parents and another to his best friend. It is obvious to most that employees tell different stories to managers than to others. Secondly, leaders are often too close to the subject to develop good objective questions. Consider two questions I heard the other day on the radio. This was an interview between a journalist (who I assume prepared the questions in advance) and an expert in disaster management. They were talking about two big disasters that were occurring simultaneously: flooding in the south and a wildfire burning on the west coast. These two questions almost made me swerve off the road . . .
Journalist: Why do the surveys keep showing that people aren't prepared?
Me: Because we keep giving them the surveys.
Expert: Because people get complacent. (Answering the real, unasked, question)
Me: No, that's why they aren't prepared. Not why the surveys show that they aren't prepared!
Journalist: Is preparation the same for wild fires and flooding?
Me: Yes . . . (let that sink in a moment) No! Are you kidding me? Did you really just ask me that question?.
Expert: Yes, first you need to evacuate the area. (Again, answering the intended question not the literal one)
Here is a trained journalist asking what are, in my opinion, two very poorly thought out questions. Thankfully the expert knew how to handle each one so no harm was done and the answers (data) were along the lines of what the interviewer wanted. We all are aware of "brutal" questions that are not affective . . . "What's wrong with you?" asked of an employee under-performing for example. But recognizing questions mislead in subtle ways are not commonly caught.
A seemingly simple question such as, "We all know there is a problem. How do we fix it?" May generate little or no real actionable data if employees react by saying to themselves "that's your job" or "you didn't listen to me last time." The person delivering the message, the history of the work team, even the words and non-verbals associated with asking all become variables that promote or discourage gathering good data.
If you really want to make progress, invest the time to develop the right questions, have the right person or means to collect the information, and create an environment to collect the information that feels safe. Otherwise the data you present in your report to leadership may not be worth the paper it was printed on.
What's wrong with these questions . . . if anything?
Just a little extra "fun," can you spot the problem with the following questions?
1. When did you quit beating your wife? Okay, an old joke, I know.
2. Do you like the bonus program and what changes would you make?
3. There is a lot of complaining about supervisors right now. What do you think about the supervisors?
4.What has it been like working as a part of the team?
5. Do you agree that our time off policy needs changing?
6. Would you rather have more money or better benefits?
If you can spot the problems easily then you probably already are aware of the risks and maybe you are even training in developing good questions. If you are having a difficult time than note that you will want to make sure to work with someone who can help you get the data you are looking for from your interviews or surveys. to may way of thinking, only one question-number four-is a good question in most circumstances. What did you think?
Photo by Arlington Research on Unsplash
Introducing new ideas where there are old well-established practices can be difficult. You need to remember that there are reasons that the processes and systems were created. They were the best thinking of their time. But, even the best practices need to be updated, tweaked, or eliminated. Suggesting changes can be tricky. Asking employees to leave a "safe port" for the uncharted waters of a new idea can be looked upon, at best, as a dubious suggestion; at worst, it can look like a "suicide mission." Mistakes will be made and from the process, hopefully, learning will emerge.
Consider Jillian and Tom. Jillian is a senior executive, and supervisor of Tom, who wants to change the process they use to prioritize the team's work and avoid last minute crises--where the team has to drop everything else it is doing to get an urgent project done. Tom is the supervisor that has to carry out the work with the employees he supervises.
The Story
Jillian: Tom, we need to find a better way to track our projects. Last week we had to "drop everything" to get that order out the door and we can't keep having that happen!
Tom: That wasn't our fault. The customer didn't commit to a firm date when they made the order then called and demanded it get done immediately.
Jillian: True, but we have had several projects that almost "slipped through the cracks" and I'd like to have a better system.
Tom: "Our system is not the problem! Besides we've tried other ways to track our projects and we always come back to this. It isn't perfect but it works.
Jillian: Well, I think we could create a system that helps us avoid these problems.
Tom: Are you ready for the team to fight you on this one? They're not going to be happy about a new manager messing with a system that has been working just fine!
Managers often face "resistance" when introducing new ideas. When met with resistance it is easy to blame employees for not being flexible, team players, or just label them as unwilling to change. This can be especially challenging for new managers or managers whose orientation is to try and build their team through collaborative processes--especially if the leader wants to avoid conflict.
Often managers have no training at all in how to approach these conversations. Thus they wind up in "power struggles," conflict, and win-lose scenarios.
Consider the following conversation and how it differs from the scenario above . . . then we'll outline steps leaders can take to increase the likelihood of successfully introducing new ideas.
The Story (Revised)
Jillian: Tom, what do you think about our system of tracking projects?
Tom: (Wearily) I guess it's okay. It works.
Jillian: What is it that about the system that works well?
Tom: We generally know what is coming up. We can assign projects so that customers don't have a long wait for their products.
Jillian: I agree. The systems is useful for assigning the work and the team really cares about getting the projects to the customers. Is there anything about the system that isn't working well?
Tom: No. I think it works well.
Jillian: I'm not trying to find fault with what we do. I am just wondering if there are any times that the system is not working optimally.
Tom: Only when customers don't give us firm delivery dates.
Jillian: Interesting. What happens when we don't get a firm date for a project?
Tom: Well, you know . . . it just kind of "hangs out there" until we get the date.
Jillian: Is that what happened with that project last week?
Tom. Yes.
Jillian: It's my understanding that we had time to do this project earlier when we were "slow." Do you agree?
Tom: I suppose so. But we were refining the projects that were due . . . they had priority.
Jillian: Right. That's our process . . . to work on projects that have a confirmed due date. If the customers always gave us a confirmed due date when they ordered would that help us avoid the "all hands on deck" crisis we had last week?
Tom: Well, yeah! But customers aren't always going to give us a commitment to a date.
Jillian: True. What do you think about us assigning a target date for projects where customers have not committed to a delivery date?
Tom: Some of those don't turn into orders. We could waste time on a project that never becomes an order.
Jillian: That's true and I certainly don't want us taking away time from actual orders to work on "iffy" projects. During busy times the confirmed dates should take precedence. But do you see any problems with setting the dates and during slow times working on these projects? Even if a few "fell through" would it be worth it to avoid emergency days like last week?
Tom: I dunno. Maybe.
Jillian: What impact does an emergency like last week have on our team?
Tom: Well, the guys weren't happy about it, I know that. They grumbled all day about the customer . . . and it's always the same customers!
Jillian: I know it wasn't my favorite day. I'm happy to jump in and help when we have a crisis, I just wonder if there is a way to reduce the number of times this happens?
Tom: What are you suggesting?
Jillian: Well, I've been wondering how it would work to tweak our system to set dates for all projects. We would still have to be clear on which projects were actually orders and which ones are our priorities but I think you have a good handle on that already. I am wondering if setting dates would help us use slow times to work on these "uncommitted" projects and avoid the emergency "fire drill" days.
Tom: I see where you're going . . .
Reframing! Steps toward change.
Just like new frames on a person's glasses or a new frame on a picture the context in which we are seeing issues will be different if the context changes. Many of our conflicts are due to different ways in which we frame problems. Is a teenager "disrespectful" or "trying to figure out life?" Is the parent "uncaring" or "tired and confused?" We all approach problems with a framework that limits what we see as possible.
Below, are six steps you can follow to try and help your employees move toward reframing issues from "can't do it" to "okay, let's try it." From "we have always done it this way and it works" to "maybe it is time to re-think it and try something else." Of course there is nothing magical about this "formula>" It is just a good reminder of "best practices" that you can use as a guide. (Memory Pneumonic? MTIFPR)
Get a Map. Take a aurvey of their view (See free eBook on Engaging Your Team). To help employee embrace changes you need to understand how they currently view the territory. Their views are based primarily on real data (not emotions although they can be involved) that you need to understand. The change will have an impact both good and bad. Leaders need to take time to understand the Map the employee is operating from.
Select a Target. Pick an area or argument for reframing. Making changes takes time. Abrupt shifts are called "natural disasters" and "trauma." Sometimes large changes have to happen quickly--if the existence of the organization or people's jobs are threatened--but most of the time big changes are best accomplished in a stair-step gradual process. If the change is important it is worth the time to help it grow to be a strong component of the company.
Gather Intelligence. Collect detailed information about that area to aid in a reframe. Leaders who want to make changes need to really be interested in the details of the employee's map. Here the leader "drills down" into the details of the area that he or she wants to try and change. You need to be able to anticipate where resistance is likely to occur and why. What are the real concerns of employees? Will the change have negative affects? What will they not want to give up for the new idea?
Float the new idea and listen for resistance. Before introducing the "whole reframe" it is good to float a "test balloon." This is usually in the form of a question, "Have you ever wondered what would happen if . . . " or "Do you think we could tweak the process to keep X (the benefits) but eliminate Y (the targeted problem)? Pay special attention to any objections at this point. If the objections remain strong then you may need to drop the idea for now, spend more time surveying the territory, gathering more data, or even come up with a different idea altogether.
Outline the Plan. This is where you introduce the Reframe. If you sense that the employee was open to the "trial balloon" then you can move forward to introduce the reframe. This is usually couched in the form of a proposal: "Given what you are telling me, why don't we try a trial run of setting dates to the "uncommitted projects?" We can then revisit in in three months and see if it has helped or not." At his point you are "armed" with all the information to help the employee see the benefits of your plan. You know the problems the old system has created. You know how the new plan could help the team. You've gained a "conceptual agreement" with your trial balloon that changes could be helpful. And, finally, the employee knows that you have done your homework.
Respond to feedback. Sometime despite your best efforts resistance can re-emerge when the reframe is introduced. It this happens then the reframe is not likely to work. However, often you may get a wary, "Well, I guess we can try it." Which can be responded to with a comment like, "I appreciate your willingness to give it a try. I know this has the biggest effect on you and your team. You've done a really good job with the old system and I hope this might help make it better for everyone. But if not, we'll do something different."
Common pitfalls that lead to failure: . .
Telling not listening. Surveying the territory cannot be rushed. Make sure to map it thoroughly. Be “quick to listen” and “slow to speak;” doing the latter only when you know, really know, the terrain.
Statements not questions. Telling employees what you know . . . "Come on, you know we can do this!" -- instead of asking for their wisdom, ideas, and support often backfires.
Anger not understanding. Anger often conveys judgement and is seen, at times, as a means to control others. A patient supervisor who takes the time to understand and guides the employees to new ways of thinking and operating will truly be valued. No one likes a bully..
Quick fix not daily effort. Real changes take time . . . and effort. Rarely are quick fixes to real problems successful. Leaders have to give daily effort to engaging employees in the change process. Don't let impatience or frustration drive your actions.
Power not humility. Leaders often lose when they have to play the "power card." Yes, there are times when a leaders has to exert the responsibility of his or her position and use the power of their office to prevent harm to others, the company, or customers. But leaders who rely on power tactics have already lost the war. Employees will respond to poser tactics but only as long as you have the ability to exert that power over them. If you lose that control the "peasants" will revolt and you will be thrown down.
“Preaching the walk” not leading the walkers; or“You first!” It should be obvious that no one wants to follow someone’s directives if they believe that the leader themselves would not put themselves in the same situation or expect the same performance themselves. Even a leader who “listens” rather than “tells” will be judged, by those with insight and wisdom, by what they actually do not what they say.
Resources
Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people.
Lessons Learned Around the World: People-centered leadership,A. Keith Miller, Major, U.S. Airforce (Retired)
Family Legacy: Protecting family in family business.
Private Practice Contracting: A path away from insurance dependency.
Blog
Our monthly "the best article I have found" series "Bread & Jam." Sharing one or two influential articles you can read while you make toast . . . and, of course, a little Jam--just for fun!
Enjoy!!
Please recognize that inclusion in the monthly Toast and Jam does NOT mean I agree with the author's opinions! In fact, sometimes it is quite the opposite! I plan to include cogent articles that challenge the reader's thinking and that, I hope, will get you asking "better questions"about your own particular situation!
Organizations and Business:
What is the most difficult skill to master as a leader? Your own psychology!
Making meetings work for introverts, women, and remote workers. An article by Harvard Business Review.
Consulting:
Working on a creative idea? Get away from your desk!
Workplace counseling: a beneficial new trend?
Free your work, free your soul! Sounds good, doesn't it?
Churches:
When church growth isn't worth the cost. Agree or not?
A discussion of what church consultants provide by John Mark Ministries.
And Jam: Fun and Curious:
Getting shy people to open up.
Questions? Contact us.
Wikipedia
Leadership can be brutal. Can we agree on that? When you work with leaders you often get to see the effects, and sometimes the damage, being in charge. It is hard to see people, who were chosen to lead, and who, having been through the fires of leadership, come crawling out of the inferno exhausted, dispirited, battered and covered with the "emotional creosote" and smoke of battle encrusted on their mental psyche.
I personally have a visceral memory of one such day . . . . The story involves my Dad, an Academic Dean/Vice President of a small college, and a man with the temperament to suite such a role--which will become important in a moment. I can say "with the temperament to suite such a role" because his personality, as measured by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, came back with a profile (ESTJ) suited to administration. Perhaps prompted by these talents he had received his Ph.D. in Secondary Education while simultaneously working at the college and was promoted into the role of running the operations of the college. It was a role he filled for most of his 51 year career at that school.
I subject you to this personal history to say this, my Dad's personality was not prone to being dramatic or overly sensitive. He was, in a word, stoic. That is not to imply "unfeeling" which he certainly was not. In fact his choice to come to a start up college rather than to accept a job offered by Auburn University may have belied a bit of romantic idealism in his early days. Still, I knew, even as a young boy, that my Dad was tough. He could take whatever life threw at him.
Seeing my Dad through this viewpoint, I hardly knew what to make of the day I came home and found him emotionally overwhelmed and in conference with my mother. I think I remember tears. If so, it was the only time I ever saw him cry about anything less the death of family member. What could possibly be the cause? Surely the "sky must be falling!" My parents simply dismissed it with a "some things are happening at the college." (Although in later years they would include me in their confidences about such matters I can truly say they never used them as opportunities to "bad mouth" others--a trait I came to admire.)
It was only years later that an employee of the college told me what happened. It seems that the President, for whatever reason, tried to get rid of him. The attempt went so far that my Dad had to appeal (as it was told to me) to a "vote of confidence or no confidence" by the faculty members themselves. They voted, he survived, and the President left. Later, I heard that this ex-President would come back to our town and while his family would visit the college he never again came on the campus.
My point is not to "trash" my Dad's ex-boss. I wasn't involved. I don't really know what happened. I simply observe or surmise that what happened caused scars for both leaders. It must be rare indeed to lead for any significant period of time and to retire the field without the emotional bruises and breaks of competition.
If you have been a leader you know all about the scars. As I work with today's leaders, it is not a matter of "are they whole or are they broken?" No, it's a matter of "in what ways and to what degree have they been broken?" Some of the most damaged are leaders who cannot even admit to themselves that they have been damaged. Others are aware of the damage and struggling to regain a stance to continue the climb.
To often, business consultants, recognize the damage that has been done but simply don't know what to do about it. Their training in business, legal, financial, human resources or other professions have not prepared them to deal with the emotional and behavioral issues that can stymie a leader's confidence and ability to lead. These leaders often become reactive and begin to manage from fear.
Helping leaders to continue to lead, despite the hurts, and helping others to engage and collaborate, without multiplying the severity and number of injuries to all parties is what Human Systems Consulting is all about. It is a good one.
Wikipedia image
I hate to say it, in fact it make me feel a bit like I am betraying my profession, but the truth is that mental health services, in my experience, often do little to really help families that are struggling with family issues in a family-based business environment.
Why?
1. Most advisors to family based businesses (legal, financial, and business) try to deal with the family issues themselves or leave it to the family to struggle through. If they recommend using a "people expert" it is usually a mental health provider who may, or may not, have any experience with family businesses. Most of these referrals are when emotions get out of control. But family dynamics are not limited to families who "publicly air their dirty laundry" or have emotional regulation issues. Resentments, competitiveness, marginalization, blaming . . . many unhealthy practices occurs in "successful" families as well.
2. Most counselors, who get these referrals, do not have training or experience in family based businesses. They often are just not trained to think about the complex interplay of ownership-management-family and how each affects the other dimensions. They may, and often do, understand a lot about the family issues but less, or very little, about ownership or management issues and how they impact family firms. Thus often the focus is on the emotions and the relationships of the family members but if these have their roots in the business decisions, business forms, or ownership challenges they may stumble over these issues or miss them altogether!
3. The "mental health care paradigm" does not support counselors to do the things they often need to do to affectively help these families. Traditions that limit interventions to one hour a week, the need to provide a mental health diagnosis, working within the constraints of a clinical setting . . . many of the standard elements of health care prevent the flexibility of a deep engagement with the family that can produce superior results. For example, attending family business meetings, doing a family retreat, or engaging the family on-site at the workplace.
4. Often, the clinical setting is reliant on descriptions of behavior not observed behavior. Often referrals are for one "identified client" who describes the behavior of the other family members and their interactions. Yes, some work with the family as a system and they will be able to observe some behavior--but it is still in the context of their "lab" or office and not in the family's natural environment. In addition, if the behavior is specific to management tasks or ownership issues they may again be limited to what is descriptions of that behavior? The counselor, in a clinical setting, dos not have the opportunity typically to watch them conduct employee meetings, talk to the business manager or non-family executive, complete interviews with direct reports . . . cutting themselves off from many sources of good data to help these families.
These are a few of the limitations and issues with referring family based business owners to mental health professionals. When asked by family members or advisors if it would help to send them to "a counselor" may answer is, "It depends."
A reader asked me to specifically address contracts with medical practices. So this is for you Trey!
Below is a post I wrote a couple of years ago at the request of a reader. Since that time, I have had the opportunity to a) further develop my consulting model (see the model), and b) contract directly with a group of physicians and their staff. The post still holds up as is but I wanted to add links to the fully developed model to help readers who find this older post. All the best! Bryan
Original post:
A caveat. Most of my direct contact with medical practices has not been contracts that I have set up myself. Rather, they have been set up by therapists I trained to do consulting or colleagues in practices I joined. My contracts have been more in the spheres of education, non-profits, family-based business, churches, and manufacturing. But, since my reader asked, here's what I know . . .
Contracts with medical services that I personally am aware of include . . .
A contract to do counseling with a program to help young mother's learn to breastfeed and take care of their babies. (The therapist first became aware of the need through a client then approached the program.)
A contract with a gynecologist to do brief counseling for women and couple's who were having issues with pregnancy or the emotional impact of expecting. (This was born out of the therapist going to the gynecologist for her own pregnancy and noticing how many women were crying before or after the appointments.)
A chiropractor who was moving to a wholistic model including message and counseling.
A Urology clinic that was looking to provide support services to their clientele and support to their staff and professionals.
A cancer program who wanted to provide counseling to those newly diagnosed.
Other contracts that I have been a part of include . . .
A short-term EAP service (including trainings) for a manufacturing company.
A retainer contract for supervision of therapy.
An EAP service for a local church.
A contract for in-school counseling (5 schools) for identified at-risk students.
A project to integrate the mental health services of four non-profit agencies.
Here's the bottom line. If you can . . . 1) find a need and . . . if the organization is 2) aware of (or can be made aware of) the need . . . and they are 3) willing to spend money to address the need. You can, assuming you have the requisite knowledge and skills, propose a contract to meet that need.
For me that means a process I describe as:
1. An exploratory meeting
2. An agreement to conduct preliminary assessment
3. A proposal for an intervention
4. The intervention
5. The follow-up
It's not rocket-science. However, it helps to have a clear plan, know the risks and pitfalls, be clear how to price your work so it's worth your time and be willing to advocate to be involved at a level that will really allow you to help them accomplish their goals.
Hope that helps Trey! If you have questions feel free to contact me at drbryanmiller@gmail.com